this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
