It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
If I die, sorry about rent.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
