I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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