This is not my ceiling
dude i'm inner monologue high
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
