Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
This baby is an asshole
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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