I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
this boner is exhausting
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
