12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
