my mouth tastes like poor choices
I wish you could order shots online.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
