That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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