It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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