I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
