Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
