did you get engaged???
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
