He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
you had me at cake vodka
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
there is glitter all over my balls
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
