this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize