i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
