ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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