I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
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I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
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its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"