HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.