worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage