I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
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watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
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Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.