I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
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I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
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i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..