We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
we're making bets on your personal life
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
