i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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