I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
