hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I have tasted many bathrooms
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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