I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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