so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
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