I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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