Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
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you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
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Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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