just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
