so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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