If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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