she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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