Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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