hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
