Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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