Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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