Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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