the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Well I just put wine in my tea
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
