Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
How naked do you want me to be?
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