She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
