Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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