so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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