I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
