I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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