I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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