I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
this just has baby written all over it
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
