hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
