The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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