It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
