I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
please don't ironically join a cult
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