explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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