im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize