yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
