He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
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so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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