Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
