They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You need Xanax blowdarts
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
as a side note pls kill me
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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