he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
