You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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