Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
