You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I am one with the molecules
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize