Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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